This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
