y did u give ur computer a hand job?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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