North Korea, Best Korea!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
