yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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