my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
