i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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