Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
