She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
