Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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