another moral hangover. fuck.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
