He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
