I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I look better un-naked...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
