she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
