So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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