Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
