so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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