I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
