I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
