I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
