Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
