the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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