I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
