Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
