I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
