ya dads aren't the best wingmen
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize