He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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