We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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