so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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