Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
