She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
