At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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