Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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