If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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