How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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