I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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