If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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