She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
the raccoons are back...
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