***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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