Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
