Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
