what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize