I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
