well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I supernannyed him into submission
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
