i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
