Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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