dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
