i may or may not be watching the land before time
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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