If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Can i not drive my cunt home
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Bring me that man meat
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
