You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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