Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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