so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
