my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING