Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

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  (617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick. http://tfl.nu/lewu
  Replies (258) Good night (4542) Bad night (79593) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.

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  (512): were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself. http://tfl.nu/ien5
  Replies (2) Good night (1870) Bad night (1003) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3573) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

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  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (605) Bad night (6454) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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  (909): dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting. http://tfl.nu/kj58
  Replies (11) Good night (529) Bad night (3408)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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  (517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0
  Replies (7) Good night (841) Bad night (2570) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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  (403): I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass http://tfl.nu/mda2
  Replies (17) Good night (2942) Bad night (2460) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.

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  (413): im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone. http://tfl.nu/9w3d
  Replies (8) Good night (3633) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke

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  (586): from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke http://tfl.nu/jxf3
  Replies (4) Good night (2237) Bad night (1032) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.

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  (630): So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead. (319): You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you. http://tfl.nu/03d8
  Replies (15) Good night (2216) Bad night (1023)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am

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  (773): despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am http://tfl.nu/0kp9
  Replies (1) Good night (1153) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding

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  (540): He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding http://tfl.nu/2362
  Replies (7) Good night (485) Bad night (969) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2620) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."

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  (337): Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her." http://tfl.nu/whil
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (244) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?

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  (770): Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right? http://tfl.nu/rafd
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (166) Order T-Shirt

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