I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now