ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
