every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.