he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
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I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.