somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
