I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
a search helicopter?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize