Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
