your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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