my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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