Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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